Think Before You Speak ! 2020

        In this post begins with the most fundamental introductions, and the features are then introduced steadily. The language used is simple and to the point.  All the topics dealt with in this Article relate to the real life of the humanity. Some are based on situations arising in the learn in the article. We have given simple meanings of difficult words for better understanding wherever necessary. The writing style used is contemporary and to the point. No extraneous matter has been included. We have considered minutely every possible feature that might prove of value to the humanity from the examination point of view. All the same, your suggestions for improvement are most welcome. 

Think Before You Speak !

     Man was meant to listen more and talk less. That is why as the great British statesman Benjamin. Disraeli said : "Nature has endowed man with two ears and one mouth. If man was meant to talk more and listen less, he would have two mouths an only one ear.' Imagine how we would have looked, how strange with two mouths on the two sides and one ear at the Centre. And mind you, the ears are like funnels, open all the time. There is no door with which you can close them. Whereas if you have to speak even one single word, that word must pass through two walls - two fences. There is firstly the fence of these two rows of teeth. There is secondly the fence of the lips, Before a word can be spoken, it has to pass, it has to pierce through these two walks, through these two fences. Therefore we must think at least twice before we utter a word.

         A very wise man once remarked that of the unspoken word you are a master , of the spoken word , you are a slave, Once you have spoken a word you cannot get it back, do what you will. Therefore you must be very careful about the words that you speak. Once the word has left your lips, you will not be able to get it back. What are unspoken words ? They are things you want to say, but remain unsaid, as thoughts in your mind. Once you have put the thoughts into words, once the words have left your lips, you cannot change them or control them. A young man went to his spiritual teacher and said, "I have spoken very harsh and unkind words to my friend, and he is deeply hurt. I am afraid I have lost my friendship with him. How can I make amends ?"but remain unsaid, as thoughts in your mind. Once you have put the thoughts into words, once the words have left your lips, you cannot change them or control them. A young man went to his spiritual teacher and said, "I have spoken very harsh and unkind words to my friend, and he is deeply hurt. I am afraid I have lost my friendship with him. How can I make amends ?"

         The wise teacher gave him a fresh sheet of blank paper and a pen; he said to the young man, "Write down on this paper all the harsh things you said to him." The young man did as he was told, and showed the paper to the teacher. "Now tear up this sheet of paper into as many small bits as you can," the wise teacher said. Soon, the single sheet was torn into a hundred tiny bits of paper. 'Throw the bits out of this window," the teacher told him. That was easily done! It was a windy day and the tiny bits were scattered far and wide even as the young man watched. "Now, go out into the street and collect as many bits of the paper as you can," the teacher ordered him.

        The young man was taken aback. 'But ..... but, that will be difficult ..... " he stammered. "It will be difficult indeed, but do give it a try," the teacher suggested.  The young man went out. He returned half an hour later, exhausted. He had not been able to get hold of a single torn bit from the paper he had torn up just a while earlier ! "This is what happens with the spoken word, " the teacher said to him. "Once you have spoken the words aloud, it is very difficult to take them back. Therefore, learn to think before  you speak in anger. " 

       Socrates was one of the wisest men of the ancient world. Many were the youths whose lives he influenced for the better. Socrates counselled his disciples to keep their mouths shut - and speak only when absolutely necessary. "O wise one, how may we know when it is right to speak ?" they asked him. 

         "Open your mouths to speak only after you have asked yourself three questions, and received an affirmative answer to each of the three," relied Socrates. 
          What were the three questions ?

          The first question we must ask ourselves before we speak is  - is  it true ? If we are not sure about the veracity of what we are saying , it is better that we do not utter a word. When we utter words carelessly, we ourselves become transmitters of untruth. The second question to ask is - is it pleasant ? Many are the empty remarks and vain statements that people make in idleness to hurt others. It is better that these unpleasant words remain unspoken.

           The third question according to Socrates is  - is it useful ? Is our statement going to benefit the listener ? Will our words bring comfort to someone ? Are we likely to help someone with what we say ? Only in that case should we go ahead and speak.

        Speech is silver, Silence is golden :The Bible says that silence is made in heaven. Thus silence is a priceless gift. very often, in a conversation, some people speak non-stop, and say hardly anything of value. Little do they realize that people, even in company, need silence in order to evaluate what is going on in their minds. Many people imagine that whatever they say is very important is going on in their minds. Many people imagine that whatever they say is very important and needs to be listened to. One valuable quality of communication is the ability to be a good listener. Listening is an art. But unfortunately, sometimes people just wait for the other person to stop so that they can begin their own part - which they rehearse while pretending to listen. To be silent is to be sensitive to the other person's thoughts and needs and problems. If you wish your company to be valued by others, sometimes keep quiet, listen and pay attention while others are speaking. By  doing this you will be more helpful than chattering nineteen to the dozen, There is a beautiful song which has this line : You say it best when you say nothing at all !

Polite words are nothing but hypocrisy All these 'Thank you' and 'Sorry' are hollow words and we will do better if we express them in deeds rather than in words - Most of these we just imitated from the West - We just follow these western practices without much thought.

              Even false good manners are far better than genuine bad manners. Again, most of our polite words come naturally to us, from the bottom of our heart, and they make a lot of difference. They are not all hollow. They go a long way in making a person appear affable, admirable in a company and socially acceptable. Words like " Thank You" and "Sorry" give expressions to our civilized feelings. Good deeds are fine, but that does not mean we should banish good words altogether. Above all. the notion that we acquired these polite words from the Westerners is quite baseless. Even when the West was in the dark ages, Indian society maintained an advanced level of polite social interactions, The expressions could be different. But we used polite words all the same. To conclude, polite words and expressions used by a society are a measure of its social advancement; in a way a cultural barometer. We cannot do without them.

            Empty Vessels Make The Most Noise : You will always find that a person with very little knowledge loves to jabber all the while and laugh and joke and make a lot of unnecessary noise. This is because the person doesn't really have any substantial matter in the head and so hides this fact with a lot of meanings chatter. But the person of real substance looks around, observes and when he or she speaks, it is to say something really meaningful. That is what is meant by this proverb, Hence when we are conversing, we should only take a fair share of the conversation and not keep prattling on as if no one else is there. This will show that we respect other people's opinions and wish to hear them out too. It would also send out the message that we are not superficial people who only bore others with a lot of pompous talk.

jabber - to speak or say something quickly in a way that is difficult to understand. prattling - talking foolishly or childishly for a long time about something unimportant or without saying anything important. Pompous - exaggerated self - importance.

 

        Manners makes the man : A man is judged by this outward behaviors and attitude. If he appears pleasing to others, people say he has good  manners. This would include the way he dresses , the politeness of his tone and the social courtesies that he practices. For example, if he is respectful to his elders and to women, he will be liked by society. If he is arrogant and proud, no one will like him. Other people will tend to avoid him whenever they can He will be an unwelcome guest in any company. Indeed, your manners decide how people will react to you. Very often your manners will also determine what opportunities you will be given in life to go ahead and  progress. Bad-,mannered people will never be helped by anyone willingly. They will always be treated with disdain. Good manners come from having respect for others and an awareness of our limitations. If we value the other person's need for self-respect, we will, in return, be respected. We should treat others as we would expect to be treated. This is the essence of good manners.

Arrogant - Speak - unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people. disdain - the feeling that somebody is not good enough to deserve your attention or respect. essence - the basic or most important idea or quality of something. Conceited, proud - Bulrushes emerge tall and proud from the middle of the pond.

          {   "Manners are the ornament of action and there is a way of speaking a kind word, or of doing a kind thing, which generally enhances their value." } 

       Knowledge is Power :-  A  Person who has knowledge is equipped with power. Here power does not mean the power of money or brute force. Rather it implies the capacity to understand, to discriminate between what is right or wrong and be able to make the correct choices. The illiterate person has limited choices of opportunity and advancement for he lacks knowledge. Knowledge makes a man resourceful. When he is faced with a difficult situation, he is able to tackle it better. His mind is able to come up with many ways to solve a problem. He is not slowed down by paucity of thoughts. He can even think up new ways of doing things. The world is moving aster each day. No one can afford to remain illiterate. Everyone has to update his or her knowledge to keep up with the times.

          Resourceful - clever: ingenious tackle - make a determined effort to deal with a difficult problem. paucity - lack of something. 

            You will definitely like everything.  At the end of this post , I hope you will be able to speak, confidently. Friends , grow up while studying with joy. Wish you all the best for your studies !